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When things fall apart

Dating By Sanjhi Aggarwal , Jagran Cityplus / Nov 30, 2009
When things fall apart

The whole world comes crashing down when your man walks out of the "oh so perfect" relationship. It is almost like a personal catastrophe to get over after being dumped by your man. But does your existence end here when one guy who probably could

The whole world comes crashing down when your man walks out of the "oh so perfect" relationship. It is almost like a personal catastrophe to get over after being dumped by your man. But does your existence end here when one guy who probably could not even realize the intensity of your love and care chose to call it quits? No it does not. You have an individual identity and have all rights to live your life the manner you choose to. Of course it is not a kindergarten job to switch emotions too easily, but here are some suggestions that may help to accelerate the process.  


Vent it out…


The very first thing that you need to do is to vent all your angst. Suppressed sorrow is what makes you vulnerable and susceptible to chase him back. Grab a friend and pour out all your feelings without the fear of being censured negatively. If none of the buddies is available cry your heart out to your pillow, your teddy or the lord above (they surely will never disclose). You may also put your anguish in ink and later dispose off the sheet. The basic underlying idea is to strengthen yourself and shed all those feelings that adhere to him. 


Realize it is over…


You need to realize that it is all over now and there is no need that you still cling to his memories and pray for him to come back. Step out of being a stereotypical woman and collect yourself. Thinking about him will only worsen the matters for you. Get rid of his momentos or things that remind might remind you of him. Hide them to keep out of sight till you have survived the heart-break. 



Avoid self-analysis.Be positive…


If it did not work well with him it does not mean it never will with any guy in future. Do not start analyzing yourself and finding faults. It is not necessary that it was you at the wrong end that pushed him to call it quits. You have all right to question his fidelity and sincerity to the relationship as well.Do not lose hope if he dumped you. Perhaps he was not the right guy as you thought. Who knows if the almighty holds a much better and sensitive guy in store for you? So why is it that his going away chokes you and makes every place claustrophobic? You could breathe well when he had not met you for so many years, so is it now. Give your mind a little spring cleaning and think positive. Remember the old saying, whatever happens, happens for good. 


Divert your mind…


It is tough to move on rapidly from a heart break. But you have to. So, to set the pace soaring always keep yourself busy. Keep your mind engaged in one task or the other so that not even the least of time is left to spare him a thought. Tire yourself so much during the day that you instantly fall asleep as soon as you hit the bed for if any thought strayed, it will spell pain for it is wont to fancy your bygone guy. 


Hang out with your friends…


Get rid of all those complaints your friends used to make about neglecting them since you started dating this guy. Make plans to batch with your old cronies and jive out all tensions and resentments. These outings will give you such memories to cherish that all those painful reminiscences will be subsided. Concentrate on your other relationships. 


Shed that stress…


A broken heart is concomitant with stress. So, do not let this stress bug overpower you and push you towards depression or god forbid any other serious ailments. Try meditating or yoga to beat the stress. Exercise is one good and most effective stress buster. Unconventional, but you may switch over to comics and cartoons that lighten your mood.  


Take it as a lesson…


Learn from your relationship. See what went wrong and keep it in mind. Remember not to go for a complete metamorphosis to suit any guy's fancy. Be yourself. You will be far more welcomed when you are yourself and project it so too.  


No desperation, no abuse…


As you have been accustomed to a guy for a considerable span and suddenly things fell apart, it often ends with a feeling of being incomplete. But it is only a momentary feeling that tags till you mentally adhere to your guy. Just shed his memoirs and feel yourself as an independent entity. Do not start hunting for another man to fill that void. That only spells desperation and your lack of strength and resilience.

Avoid to see him or to have that last discussion. Meetings with the ex often conjure up feelings and make you vulnerable. Also you need to act mature if you bump into him someday accidentally. Do not start flirting with the guy next to you to make him envious. It will show you still long for him and care for his attention. It will be better if you simply ignore. Further do not spread ill words about him in companies you haunt. That is most immature of an act. 


Go for a make-over…


When you have decided to re-start your life going for a make-over is one idea that truly rocks. Get yourself a new hairstyle. Get along with some girlfriends and go on a shopping spree. Either change your wardrobe or make additions to it. It gives a feeling of satisfaction when the mirror reflects a new you and it aids in the process of healing and collecting the broken shards.  


Start afresh, be the phoenix…


Let go off your past memories and start a new life. Feel the energy from within. Be the phoenix and rise from that hurting past. A new world awaits you.

Realize it for once and for always, he was not the last man on this earth, and even if he was, you do not need a man to keep you happy. So, get going girl. You rock!!                   

Written by
Sanjhi Aggarwal
Source: Jagran CityplusNov 30, 2009

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