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The Difference Between Healthy Love and Unhealthy Love

Love is a great feeling to have, and there can be two ways about it. Are you in a healthy or an unhealthy love? Find out.

Dating By Arka Roy Chowdhury / Jun 04, 2014

Understanding Love

Love is an expression that is universal, and thousands are falling in and out of it everyday around the world. One could suggest that those who have it going for long are able to do it because their relationship is healthy, inversely those who are stmubling are in an unhealthy love. Till now we had only heard of love, plain and simple. Then what is a healthy love and an unhealthy love?

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Unhealthy Love is Dependent

Unhealthy love is dependant, it means devoting and depending on the other person for each step that you take. There is nothing that is individual, and there is nothing that you would do for yourself. There is a pressure to match standards and one always have to justify his or her actions. There is nothing individual about an unhealthy love.

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Healhy Love is Independent

There is a great amount of respect for each other in a healthy love, there is complete trust and faith. There is no need to give any explanation, there is no threat, there is no dependency here. Each person has his or her own life, and there is no stopping the individual growth.

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Unhealthy Love is Urgent

There is a great desperation in an unhealthy love. Unhealthy love wants you there everytime, at every point in time. It produces manipulation and the compromise of oneself. It is like a tug of war, this unhealthy love. It can snap any moment if one party does not try hard enough, and the whole thing can finish.

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Healthy Love is Patient

Healthy love is powerful and patient, and it does not demand any urgency. Healthy love is a gift that you decide to give another person, and it can never be stale. Healthy love is drinking soup and watching movie indoors on a rainy day, but not everyday. Soup and movie would never be so special if it was everyday, healthy love wants it to be special.

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Unhealthy Love is Finding Completion

In an unhealthy love one person is always trying to complete his or her own self, and this is a big problem. There is a selfish dynamic in an unhealthy love which gives way to co-dependency. In the run to complete oneself, this person hurls expectations at the other, and it gets messy. It is only a matter of time before substitutes are sought in the form of another person who could make him or her complete.

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Healthy Love is about Completing

In a healthy love, the relationship dynamics vary. Each person finds joy in sharing in the other person's growth, and play a role to complete the other. There is a constant effort, there are no selfish co-dependency here. It is merely the idea of loving and completing the other person more than one's own self.

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Unhealthy Love is Victimization

In an unhealthy love that is not based on true friendship, one or may be both the parties could face victimization and that is bad. Most often people who do not have a long lasting and passionate relationship, lack the basic outline of a successful relationship, and that is friendship. Such a relationship is extremely shallow.

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Healthy Love is Friendship

A healthy love is such a love wherein the two people are friends, they are better friends than what they were once before. The strongest and the most successful relationships are those where the man and the woman are very good friends, they have a true friendship brewing between them, and in fact true friendship is the base of their relationship.

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Unhealthy Love is a Drug

Unhealthy love promotes the false self, and it stops growth, it is a drug. Unhealthy love demands and requires, and calls for you. Unhealthy love is unconditional and border less. It can break as fast as it had started. Unhealthy love is rampant in the world.

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Healthy Love is Rare

Healthy love is building trust, having faith, being committed, and does not stop you. Healthy love allows you to grow. It requires tremendous amount of self courage and responsibilty to have a healthy love, healthy love is for the strong. Healthy love is also very rare, and it is a gift that is experienced by few.

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