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Quit the 'I am Sorry’ Habit

If are you in the habit of apologizing all the time, you must realize that doing so is harming your self-confidence. There is a place and time when an apology is the best thing you can do to make things right but if you indulge in it excessively, it

Mind Body By Vasudha BhatDec 18, 2014

It's Intervention Time!

Most people are in the habit of saying `sorry’ more often than required. We apologize for dropping things, for asking someone a question, for not being able to decipher what the person is trying to say, for liking something and for not liking something. The word `sorry’ holds an important position in our lives, especially if you are a woman. Two studies by the University of Waterloo showed that though men apologized equally for perceived wrongdoings, their threshold for what they felt they needed to apologize for was much higher. In simpler words, men do not feel apologetic for not apologizing. So, here are few tips that can fix your `sorry habit’.

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Take a Note

Start taking a mental note of all the things that you apologize for. Whenever you utter the word `sorry’, ask yourself few questions. `Was it really harmful?’, `Does my apologizing sound nice?’, `Why am I apologizing?’ Make a note of your `sorry habit’ at least for a week. If you notice that you have been apologizing only to sound polite, make changes. For example, if the dish you are serving before the guests may taste bland, instead of using the word sorry simply say that salt and pepper are on the table, in case you need them.

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Overcome the Feeling of Inadequacy

When you feel unworthy and inadequate you tend to over apologize. If you notice that you are in the habit of over apologizing for things you are not responsible for, it is time for some intervention. You are in desperate need of self growth thus, you must consider taking help from a coach or a counselor. When you stop blaming yourself for everything wrong that is happening around you, you will start enjoying your own company.

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Start Laughing at Yourself

To build a stronger inner strength, you must start laughing at your silly mistakes instead of over apologizing for them. When a confident person trips over while walking, their first reaction should be a chuckle at their mistake unlike a low on confidence person who would say the word sorry as a reaction to their mistake. Understand that there are few things in life which are more funny than embarrassing. Befriending with yourself is the key to find your mistakes rapidly and laugh over them rather than being embarrassed.

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Use `Sorry’ Only when you Mean it

When you over-use the word `sorry’ you tend to make it lose its deeper meaning. Keeping it for some special occasions when you really seek for forgiveness, will make word hold more special place. You will be more sincere and genuine while showing remorse when you are not overdoing the apology. Save the precious word for occasions that sincerely require that expression. Don’t use if somewhere when you are not at fault.

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Replace `Sorry’ with a `No’

This could be one of the most difficult steps of the process but at the same time it could be the most effective one too. Accept the fact that you cannot please everyone all the time. You have to let go off some tasks because performing everything is just not humanly possible. Take it slow by not accepting tasks that you cannot perform. Do it politely but avoid using the word no. You can always compromise without feeling that you are turning someone down.

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Introduce Changes to your Vocabulary

When you change your everyday vocabulary, you can see instant changes in your `sorry habit’. Save the word for special occasions and make yourself learn new words like `excuse me’ or `pardon’. Use these terms whenever you are going to say `sorry’ because using them will change the way you feel. Saying these words instead of a `sorry’ would mean that you are communicating the right message to the other person and yet not being apologetic for something you haven’t done.

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Think Twice Before Apologizing

The next time you are going to apologize, take some time out and think about the situation thoroughly. When you are in an argument or a conflict, it can make you feel that instead of heating up the situation further an apology would do a better job. But, that thought can only give you a short-term solution. Search for a solution by looking at things more objectively. Just because you are in a disagreement with a person does not mean you are at fault.

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