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How to Talk to your Children about Sex

Your children will eventually find out information about sex through sources that cannot be trusted. It is therefore better to talk to talk yourself and provide accurate information. If you are not sure about how to initiate the conversation, here is

Snr By Ariba Khaliq / Nov 04, 2014

The Intense Conversation about Sex with Your Child

Today’s is a highly sexualised society and our children are exposed to sexual language, images, and behaviours even before they are mentally or physically prepared to deal with them. Sex affects how we feel about ourselves and impacts important choices we make as males and females. It does the same to our children and so, it is important for us as parents to guide them through it. You are bound to get questions about sex from your child and because they’re eventually going to be gathering information from other sources, it’s better that it comes from you and is correct.

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Don’t Have “The Talk”

Talking about sex is not a single talk; it is an unending conversation over the course of your child’s entire adolescent life, and sometimes beyond that. Don’t fret already, just think of sex as any other issue on about which you want to inculcate values in your children. Just like you don’t wait for your children to turn 18 before teaching them about safe driving, don’t postpone the sex talk for until you think they are old enough. In your eyes, they will never be. Of course, you have to talk appropriate things according to their age, like young children can safely be taught about body parts.

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Be Proactive and Responsive in Parts

Most of your talking about sex with your children will include just answering the questions they have. If they ask you something, you let them know what’s what. On the other hand, sometimes you need to initiate conversation about things they might not inquire about but should be aware of. A young child should need know about who is and is not allowed to see them naked.

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Avoid all “Don’ts”

A sexuality conversation with all don’ts like “don’t have sex,” “don’t get pregnant,” “don’t get a disease” does no good. And this account of sex education by parents leaves out all the do’s. Teach them how can they decide whether a partner is interested in them as a person or just as a potential sex partner. What ways can they address peer or partner pressure to be sexual when they don’t feel they are ready. These topics need to be part and parcel of any discussion of healthy sexuality. Give them some things they can do!

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Where did the Question Come From

Before you panic on a sexual question asked by your child, ask them to explain why they want to know something and provide accurate information in developmental context. If your child asks “What does sex mean?” may be because their teacher asked them to “line up by sex.” You wouldn’t want to explain things to them out of context then.

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Be Real

A lot of false information, myths, and rumours are available in media these days about sex and these are readily accessible by your children. Provide accurate information. Use simple language, but respect their intelligence and curiosity.

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Listen More Say Less

As a parent, inculcating sex education in your child, you have to act like a sounding board that helps them develop them the ability to decide their sexual behaviour. An engaging conversation about sexuality goes farther towards developing independent decision-making than a lecture about what they “should” and “shouldn’t” do.

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Beware of the “D” Word

Disappointing is the last thing children want to do to their parents. And while you are teaching your child about sexual behaviour that is dangerous and wrong, make it clear to them that there is nothing they could do that would stop you from loving them. You will always be there to help them whenever you need them. Avoid telling them that you will be disappointed in them.

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