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Fight Fairly How to keep Peace at Home

Conflicts are not uncommon in relationships. Here are some tricks to kick and negativity away and bring peace to home.

Snr By Bhadra Kamalasanan / Mar 05, 2014

Making Peace at Home:Is it Possible?

When you are in the middle of a heated conflict with your partner, making peace with him/her may seem like a pipe dream. But, the truth is, peace is a possibility even when you two are fighting like brutes. Here are some tricks suggested by some with the scars of experience and others with little pedigree of education.

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Do Not Play the Blame Game

Avoid talking in absolutes and telling your partner that they have never done anything for you or that they always are laid back. Tell your partner specifically what it is that you did not like about them and how it upset you. Also, when they are telling you something, do not cloud their arguments with pointers from their bad books. Wait for them to finish and make them understand instead of picking up their exploits and getting back at them just because you want to win the argument.

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Head to Bed with your Horns Out

After a ferocious fight you may want to go and sleep on the couch for the night. Go ahead, we say because heading to bed angry, getting some sleep and waking up to a new day would solve a lot of previous night’s problems. Turns out, going to bed angry makes one to clear his/her thoughts and wake up with a less frigid mind.

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“But” Away

One of the biggest and most common mistakes that couples make when they are arguing is derailing the resolution while acknowledging their partner’s position by adding a “but”. If you want your partner to know that you understand and support their stand, do not add a “but” because that will make things worse.

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Stop Playing around with Hurtful Words, instead Touch

Sure you want to keep as far from your partner as possible when he/she is nagging you to the limits of insanity, but relationship experts say that shutting up and just holding hands for a few seconds can do magically well to soothe/calm things down. So, the next time you are up against each other, just take a deep breath and hold each other’s hands.

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Are you Misunderstanding? If yes, Summarise their Problem

Even though you and your partner are together and almost as good as being one, you are in the truest sense, individuals of your own bearing. You have your own thoughts and expressions that may coincide with that of your partner’s. But, that does not mean you are telepathic and can understand everything that your partner is trying to say. Misunderstanding their concern can harden the surface of your peaceful relationship. So, summarise their problem as you grasp it to clear the air.

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Avoid Multitasking during the Argument

You may want to tell your partner that you couldn’t care less about the relationship, but this is not the time to multitask. Be respectful and focus on your spouse. Doing so will remind you of how much you love them and therefore, push yourself to work towards getting things back to normal. You could take a walk in the park to diffuse your energy.

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Play your Sense of Humour Right

Couples who tease each other and are often more on the humorous side tend to have fewer conflicts and a lasting relationship. It may be hard in the early months to make do with pretentious jokes and badinage, but you have got to work towards it should you think your man/lady is a keeper.

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Always be on the Look out to become Closer

As long as you have a fair and respectful argument, you will stay together and close. The point of your argument should not be to win or tell each other that you are the better one; it should be to find the resolution to the problem so that your ties get stronger and lasting. You and your partner should have an equal opportunity to talk as well as to be heard. Do not plan a rebuttal when he/she is talking.

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Take Some Time Off

Even a 15-minute break can help a couple to reset the fight. You could take some time off the heated argument especially if you think it is not going anywhere. Gather the courage to move out of the room and get some fresh air. Come back when things have softened a bit.

Remind yourself of What is Important

Is it the argument in itself or the marriage/relationship that is more important for you? You will have your own ways and reasons to defend your point, but it is important to find the right key in the box.

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