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Could you be attracted to your Friend of Opposite Sex?

Being attracted towards a person is absolutely normal. But, as many believe it is a sin when the other person is your best mate. Breaking the stereotype, professor Heidi Reeder shows different forms of attraction which could be a breather for many wh

Dating By Vasudha Bhat / Aug 28, 2014

What's Wrong and What's Not?

The magnetism which the opposite sex feels towards each other has a set definition for it. However, this lure finds no meaning to it when a man and a woman already share a bond called friendship. It is a popular belief that irrespective of their existing relationship, if a man and a woman feel attracted to each other then the relationship must become romantic and end up in a nuptial knot.

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The Contradiction

In contradiction to this common belief, Heidi Reeder, who is an associate professor in the Department of Communication at Boise State University and a Carnegie Foundation Professor of the Year, says there can be different kinds of attractions between men and women. Let’s have a deeper insight of her analysis to know the kind of attractions opposite sexes can share.

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Friendship Attraction

Based on result of the survey, Reeder says that this is the most common form of attraction between same-sex friends. It is a kind of fascination that makes you feel drawn towards someone because their company makes you feel happy. Most heterosexuals probably feel this way for their same-sex friends.

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Romantic Attraction

This form of attraction should not be confused with physical or sexual attraction. It happens that you may find someone physically attractive but, you may have no desire to get involved in a romantic relationship with them. This type of attraction grows the feeling to go around like a couple and not like friends anymore.

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Subjective Physical/Sexual Attraction

If you are attracted towards a person physically and want to make sex a part of your relationship then your attraction falls under this category. The survey results showed that almost one-third of the respondents wanted to get intimate with their friend.

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Objective Physical/Sexual Attraction

According to Reeder, this became the most interesting form of attraction during the survey. It means that you find your friend physically attractive generally.  But, you are not able to feel that attraction for yourself. This kind of attraction was seen in over half of the participants of the survey.

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Battle of the Sexes

In an another study, that was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, there was a difference found in the opinion between men and women towards being attracted to their opposite sex friend. While men did not feel discouraged towards feeling attracted to their female friend even if she was romantically involved with another person, women showed a much lesser desire to date their male friend if they had another woman in their life.

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Another Difference in Opinion

Men and women were found in a conflicting position once again when it came to handling the attraction problem. Another showed that men thought that it was an advantageous opportunity to date a female friend while women believed that they would have to lose a lot by doing so.

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