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7 Things you shouldn’t say to your child

The power of tongue needs to be tamed. When it comes to your kids, not being careful with your words can do a lot of damage. To avoid that, here are seven things you should never say to your kids.

Tips for Parent By Ariba Khaliq / May 19, 2015

Be Careful before You Speak

It’s okay to make mistakes as parents. You sometimes may say regrettable things to your child in the heat of the moment. The hardest part of parenting might be talking to your kids without giving them the wrong message. Some phrases need not be a part of your vocabulary and you should cut them out right now. So, what are those words? Here are some things you should never say to your kids, and what you can say instead to make them listen.

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“You are as Bad as Me at Math”

It’s good to see your shadow in your child, but comparing their failures to yours is a big no-no. Something that you were bad at should not give them an excuse to do the same; your saying it gives them a chance to cop out and quit trying.

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“See, I Had Told You!”

You might feel a strange kind of vindication when your child falls down despite you warning them to not run around the house, but don’t ever say, “This is what you get for not listening to me.” When you rub it in, it only results in resentment and all you’ll do is ruin a precious  moment when you could teach your child something.

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"Let your dad come back!"

This is a parenting cliché and it reduces discipline. Effective disciplining of your child requires giving immediate attention to the situation. Transferring your responsibility onto your spouse will undermine your authority. Your child may not listen to you the next time there is a problem thinking you anyway won’t punish them. Also, your spouse becomes the bad guy always.

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"I'm on a diet."

Watching your weight is something you should keep to yourself; your child doesn’t need to know that. If your child notices that you’re not eating, hears you talking about being fat, or sees you stepping on the weighing scale every day, he/she may develop an unhealthy body image.

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“You’re smart and your sister is pretty”

Putting your children under classifications may make it difficult for them to break out of those chains later in life. Your child will probably grow up to be an entirely different kind of person. Don’t compare your kids to each other, either. It creates feelings of inadequacy and forms a wedge between siblings.

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“Is there anything you can do right?”

Being told that your child is “good-at-nothing” is disgracing, and people often use hurtful words to make others feel shameful, or to put them in their place. Although some parents think that making kids feel ashamed is a good way to punish children, it often has an adverse effect because it may cause a child to withdraw.

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“You don’t have to be scared; just do it.”

Telling children there’s no reason to be scared doesn’t make them any less frightened. Don’t minimize your child’s fears. Try talking to your child instead about what scares them.

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