Give fathers their due in parenting

Updated at: Aug 27, 2010
Give fathers their due in parenting

As a culture, we tend to elevate motherhood to a pedestal and consider the mother child bond to be something sacred.

Sunita Singh
Tips for ParentWritten by: Sunita SinghPublished at: Aug 27, 2010

As a culture, we tend to elevate motherhood to a pedestal and consider the mother child bond to be something sacred. But such deification underplays the bond between the child and the father. A children's social, physical and intellectual development greatly benefited from the involvement of father.


1 Disciplinarian: In our culture father is considered as the law keeper. Children turn to their fathers for discipline and the occasional gruff words or expression of approval. Therefore, fathers play an important role in the decision of the child. Children consider him the final authority. Bossy kids tend to work more on the mother; therefore it is important for the father to be ready and willing to actually manage them.


2 Emotional security:  A child's need of a father is independent of mother's role. A child feels emotionally secure in the presence of his father. Withdrawal of father's love from the life of a child contributes more to the cause of delinquent behaviour. They tend to take up unhealthy habits. Presence of father's love makes children competent. They become more understanding and caring. They give importance to family values and always try to uphold their parents' dignity and respect.


3 Playing partner: Children turn to their mother for hugs and cuddles. Fathers can be a bundle of surprise for the child the games they play are more arousing and children love the stimulation and wildness in them. Playing outdoor games with father burns their extra energy and helps in the development of their cognitive skills and helps children acquire social and emotional expressions that prepare them for school. Children are more excited in the presence of their fathers. Daddy style games teach the children how to negotiate, regulate and understand feelings and teach them how to be leader.


4 As an explorer: Fathers always try to introduce their children to the outer world beyond their homes. When a father is with his child, he opens the door to informal teaching. Fathers talk about real things and show the working of worldly gadgets and machines. Educationists call the interaction as "Science Process Talk", which leads to problem solving skills which are important for subjects like math and science.


5 Role model: Most schools don't have male teachers. Hence, it makes it more important for fathers to play an active role at home, so that the kids don't miss out on the experience and competence that men can share. A child is strongly influenced by the books a father selects and the way he reads and talks about them. Daddy style reading does make an academic difference. Girls whose fathers read to them show much higher verbal skills. For boys the stakes are higher. A son may decide that it's not an activity meant for males, when a father doesn't read much. This handicaps their fluency, word recognition and knowledge base.


6 Complete parenting: Children do well when they know that their fathers care. Even when their fathers don't live with them, their presence in their children's life is still vital. Mothers and fathers are indeed different. Their distinctive styles of caretaking complement each other and provide for complete parenting to the advantage of children. Therefore, the role of a father is very important in the life of a child and fathers deserve the acknowledgement of the love and security they provide to their children.




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