Fed up with sibling fights

Updated at: Dec 29, 2010
Fed up with sibling fights

Dad, he hit me first! Ma, please tell her shut up. Me First! Me First! Me First! Sounds familiar, right? This is a common scenario in most homes which has more than one child.

 Anubha K Singh
Tips for ParentWritten by: Anubha K SinghPublished at: Dec 29, 2010

Dad, he hit me first! Ma, please tell her shut up.Why does he get all your attention? Me First! Me First! Me First! Sounds familiar, right? This is a common scenario in most homes which has more than one child.


Sibling fights is a routine part of growing up. But it's up to the parents how they cope up with their kids. Its easy to get frustrated with these fights and raise your hand. But you can definitely do better than this.


Here are things you need to do to maintain peace in your house:


Get to the reason 


Jealousy, competitiveness, increasing needs and desires, seeking parents attention are some of the reasons why kids fight. Sometimes, it may be due to the special care or treatment one is getting if he/she is not feeling well, the other one might be jealous of the other getting special care.


Kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality so might not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets preferential treatment. Sometimes it may be if one is good in studies and he is getting lots of appreciation and gifts from parents and other one is ignored. A lot depends on the child's mood, temperament, flexibility.  

Do not interfere


It's not always good to get involved when your kids fight. Let them try to solve their own differences. Your interfering many be seen as taking sides with one kid. If you always interfere, you risk creating other problems. The kids may start expecting your help and wait for you to come to the rescue rather than learning to work out the problems on their own. Always try to encourage them to solve the fights between themselves.


Intervene only if must  If you think that's there is a situation emerged to intervene then always keep some points in mind. Try to separate the kids until they are calm but in a polite way.


Post an agenda

Give them some space. Let the anger subside.  And no need to always find out who's wrong and who's correct. Try to settle their fights with supporting both of them. Make them learn how to value another person's perception, how to compromise and negotiate with situations and how to control their aggressiveness.


If your children always fight over the same things such as watching different channels on the same TV or Video Games post an agenda showing which child owns that item at what times during the week. Spend time together Keep in mind that sometimes kids fight to get your attention.


In that case, consider taking time-out of your own for them. Have fun together as a family. Whether you're watching a movie, throwing a ball, or playing a board game, you're establishing peaceful ways for your kids to spend time together and relate to each other. This can help ease tensions between them and also keep you involved. Since parental attention is something many kids fight over, fun family activities can help reduce conflict.


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