Exercises to Overcome Fear of Intimacy

Apr 13, 2012

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Exercises to Overcome Fear of Intimacy

The fear of intimacy may be rooted in different emotions such as that of your trust having been violated in the past or your fear of indulging in physical intimacy. Fear of intimacy can stop you from getting closer to your partner or getting past a point of trust in the relationship. The fear of intimacy, however, can be overcome by way of certain exercises that will help you get closer to the person and take the relationship to a better level.



It is hard to be outspoken about one’s fears, especially because of the haunting feeling of being misunderstood to be silly. Write a letter to help you feel comfortable about expressing. Besides, writing gives you the opportunity to express only what you want to. Write a letter to your partner on what you feel, how you yearn to be closer but can’t and things that you fear about.



Intimacy is not just about connecting physically but also emotionally. To be emotionally intimate to someone, you must know him/her better. Look out for ways you can know more about your partner. For instance, you can set up activities such as a hike. Ask lots of questions that will give you an insight into what he/she is like. Sharing experiences can help you feel nice and closer to each other.


Sensate Focus

Sensate focus is an exercise proposed by the Stanford School of Medicine to help people be intimate without fearing rejection or embarrassment. The exercise lasts for 6 weeks with the first two weeks focusing on exploring the body and face, the third and fourth week focusing on non-intercourse stimulation and the last two weeks focusing on intercourse. By the last two weeks, you would already have got yourself prepared to take the relationship to a higher level.


Let Go

Relaxation exercises can help make one feel less stressed. Yoga, meditation or prayer can help one prepare and be comfortable. Spend time with your partner in a place that is quiet and far from distraction. Think about all the things that you want your relationship to have. If you still don’t think that you are ready to take your intimacy to an advanced level, talk about it with your partner and take it forward slowly.

If none of the exercises work in helping you overcome your fear of intimacy, undergo therapy to discover the root cause of the fear of intimacy.


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