Aug 07, 2012
German philosopher, Friederich Nietzsche had written, “Love matches, so called, have illusions of their father and need for their mother”. And marriage is a major part of that love, a beautiful union of body and soul, it’s a pledge taken by two individuals to spend their life by each other’s side. It is the strangest of relationships, something that we create ourselves and are not forced to enter simply by the virtue of our birth. And yet, it somehow becomes the most important and crucial relationship of our lives.
There are times when your marriage and your relationship reach a dead end. That illusion and that need don’t show up anymore. What should you do in such times? You are probably thinking of walking out, getting a divorce, but hey, why not counselling! This is the time to repair things and going for a marriage or relationship councillor is the best option.
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Detachment – The two of you were once attached, close and un-moved. But today, it does not seem like yesterday or the day before. Today that person is someone different and you come home late not looking forward to your re-union. You don’t actually know how and when this happened; it just did! Staying away from home on purpose is a big question mark on your relationship. It is time you took some serious counselling.
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Letting it be – The two of you are quarrelling on a regular basis. But that is something that happens with most of the couples. However, the alarming juncture is when either of you do not wish to address the issues and just let them be. You do not realise, but this means that you really do not care if your spouse or lover is disappointed and you do not care to rectify the mistakes and dispel misunderstandings. This creates a deep scar in the heart; the grievances just keep piling one on top of the other. Letting it be means you are giving your relationship a leg by. Yes, when this happens, it means, it’s time!
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H for Hurricane - There was a time when the letter H meant Home, today it just reminds you of Hurricane, an impending sense of doom looms over you. Your home is not a peaceful abode anymore, any topic of discussion very swiftly turns into a matter of heated debate. Worse, if you get into fisty-cuffs with your better half. When your married life is standing at the edge of the hill, it’s time to think it over and going for some repair work.
The illusion and the need that Nietzsche talks of, even though it is a philosophical thought, it remains the eternal truth. Your better half is an embodiment of all the relationships of your life; do you want to let that go? Remember, you chose your lover out of your own free will.