Jan 16, 2013
Getting over a break-up is no walk in the park. Unless you have nerves of steel, you can't ignore the fact that, for a moment, you lost faith in love.
Break ups are devastating, especially when you have been investing in the partnership for a long time.
Dating again after a failed relationship can be your path to recovery as the feeling of being in a new relationship will help you get over the bitter experiences of the past.
But before head out for a new start in your love life, there are some key rules that you need to follow.
Let it go, make the murky water clear
When you are ready to swim fresh water, make sure you let go of the murk. You cannot live with the thoughts of your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse when trying to conjure a new one. If you talk about your ex or how good your previous relationship was on your date, you are downing disappointment in your next one too.
Tip - Draw the line between what has happened and what is happening. Forget the former.
The slower, the better
Steering the boat faster will not land you at where and what you want instead row elsewhere. Even if you are the one who dumped your partner, you are in a highly sensitive phase of your life in which you are not sure of your own feelings and may therefore, end up rubbing sheets with yet another fool in the pool.
Tip – So, give yourself time to steady the ship and make happiness come in parts. If not being committed brings you to wit’s end for no apparent reason, there is still some time till you get back to the dating scene again.
Do something that you haven’t done
You may have dated different people previously, look out for signs of similarity in all of them. Have you been seeing fair women, those who liked bright colours or those who treated you in a certain way, etc? Make a slight change to the pattern. Date someone who you always thought is not your type.
Tip – It is not just a new experience but by being with different people you will discover a trait of your own personality that you never knew existed.
Step out of the dark to walk in the sunshine
The social connections can be the best thing when you want to gather yourself post break-up. Meet new people, stepping out of the confined four-wall room of yours. It is the time for the ball game to begin.
Tip – Be part of social events where you can meet new people. Remember not to approach only those you think, on face value, you would enjoy the company of.
[Read: Ways to Get Over a Broken Heart]
Expect the unexpected
It is not a script that things will fall in a certain sequence. You may think that hopping dates will be in your favour, but dreaming score after score will only bring you more unhappiness. Tell yourself how fragile dating is and that it will hit you in your face at some point or another. If not the first 10 dates, the 11th date is likely to not work out. When going on a date to start afresh after relationship crash, keep your expectations low. But, it should not be too low that will keep ball from rolling.
Tip –Keep things casual and fun. Dating has to be fun for you, for it to work.
Do you need the moments or do you want the moment to last forever?
When you’re on the dating game again, you should be clear of if you want a relationship or a fling.-thing. Think it over and be true to yourself.
Tip – If you are looking for a long-lasting relationship, don’t lay your eyes on the first person you are attracted to. Attraction can happen in an instant, but true love takes time.
There is no hard-and-fast rule of when to date or should you date after a messy break-up. However, the only rule is – if you are thinking of seeing someone, you better be ready for it.
Break-up anguish is hard to compress. It is only if you pecker up that you push out happy.
Read more articles on Relationship Help.