Jan 25, 2013
Though a relationship is all about two persons being together, but each person is different from the other and thus, at times, we need space to grow. Giving a little space to your partner isn’t all that gloomy provided that you enjoy yours.
Being entwined with your partner in love is a blissful experience. The years of togetherness, the comfort level you share and the never-diminishing attention that your partner showers on you seem perfect. You have nothing to complain, but somewhere in your subconscious, you still urge to have your personal space, privacy and the freedom of making your own decisions. It’s quite natural for any of us to feel suffocated in a relationship after months of being permanently struck together. Like staying together is important in a relationship, giving space to each other is equally important for a relationship to grow and strive. Knowing how to give breathing space to your partner and yet staying together is a skill which every couple should learn.
Why giving space in a relationship is important?
Life becomes an exciting journey when you have someone close to you who loves you unconditionally. The person is your shadow and you never miss a single thing to share with him. But, then again, overdose of anything be it medicine or love can be detrimental.
You may never realise that but being constantly glued to each other makes you dependable on your partner. By the time you get to know that your relationship has killed your individuality and self-dependence, it would be too late to realise and the loss may be beyond any fix.
By asking you to give a little more space to your relationship, we aren’t hinting at how to part ways with your partner. We are advocating the need of preventing your relationship overshadowing your individualism and creating essential space for yourself and your partner to grow as two different individuals while being together. This will help both of you to improve your relationship for better and make it everlasting.
The task might seem difficult initially, but it’s worth the effort. Here’s how you can give healthy space to your partner, building a stronger relationship parallelly!
Accept the fact that you’re two different individuals
When two persons come together in a relationship, their individual lives take a backseat.. The separate ways become a single path leading to intimacy, deeper bond and selfless love. But, with years of togetherness, the feeling of being around to each other starts fading and what matters is love and understanding. Even the intensity of intimacy decrease with time and then one has to come back to his individual life and issues.
Couples who have given personal time and space to each other since the beginning of their relationship often don’t find this transition difficult but others might have a tough task accepting their partner’s need of individual space and asking for theirs.
Disjoint the hip joint
Are you co-joined twins? Of course not! So there is no need to follow your partner wherever he/she goes. Relax, we say. From the first ray of sun to the last minute of the day, you’re with your partner even if your partner is not with you. . This might work for a few weeks and even your partner may praise your dedication. But we ask you, do you have any life of your own or is it all about your partner? If latter is the case with you, we fear that you are on the verge of losing your individuality. Free yourself from the shackles of your partner and go out, meet your friends, do things that you enjoy and recall your agenda in life. This way you’re taking out time for yourself as well as also letting your partner to have his own time.
[Read: Common Relationship Mistakes]
Understand that your partner also has a life of his own
You flinch every time he tells you about his family get-together or night out plan with friends? And you start chasing him to take you along or urge him to drop his plans. If this is the scene with your relationship, sorry to say, but he also has a family and a bunch of friends like you have. So let him enjoy his time with the people he loves and values apart from you. Remember that they are as important to him as you are.
Let your partner enjoys his interests
Do you urge your partner to play squash only because you like it? You made him read all romantic novels even though he likes history? Poor guy he is! Spending all the time together is certainly good for your relationship, but what about you or him as a two different individuals? What if doesn’t want to accompany you to your favourite pub and want to catch the live match on TV? He will never say no to you because he loves you and would never let you go alone. But shouldn’t you also be attentive to his desires and needs? After all, you also love him. So keep your eyes open to his interests and let him enjoy what he likes rather than forcing him to be there at your side every time and everywhere.
It is thoughtful to put your relationship before every other thing in your life. But being too much involved in a person or in a relationship may leave you gasping for some fresh air of individuality. So watch out for any signs of suffocation in your relationship and find your way out on the right time rather than being sorry later.
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