Sep 20, 2011
Break ups are hard. We all know that. The end of something that seemed eternal, with someone you thought you loved can leave the best of us as emotional wrecks. The very thought of not having the security of the relationship and the partner we spent so much time and emotion on can be a deep, deep hole of depression to fall through. The easiest way of having your cake and eating it often appears to be to stay friends.
[Read: How to Get Over your Ex]
But is it really possible to stay friends with someone who you’ve been so intimate with? Could you live with the possibility of someone taking over your place and be happy for them? If you can put your hand on your heart and answer that in the affirmative, then you, my friend, are that breed of person who can definitely be friends with your ex. But for most of us other ordinary mortals, it can be a really painful thing to watch ourselves be replaced.
Most of all, the reasons why you broke up with your partner in the first place have a way to keep coming back. While it may be true that when the intimacy of a romantic relationship has gone, it is easy to be friends with that person, and the little niggling problems that you had become easier to gloss over, it is also true that the deep and painful facts that lie behind a break-up are very, very difficult to forgive.
[Read: Ways to Get Over a Broken Heart]
But for some people, when the sex has finally got out of the way, and you realise that you aren’t made for each other in that sense, but do have a great rapport otherwise, it can become easy to be and stay friends. And these are the people who can actually give you unprejudiced opinions and useful advice, because having been so close to you, they know you very well. And can often be the only way to save you from yourself.
So, can your ex be your friend? I suppose, as Simone White put it in her song Bunny in a bunny suit, “I suppose it depends on who you ask.”
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